Guilt has become your native language
“With everything I’ve done for you,” “If you really loved me, you would…”: guilt-tripping sometimes replaces any form of genuine communication. When you grow up with this, you end up believing you’re responsible for other people’s emotions. Saying no becomes difficult, and asserting yourself feels almost like a betrayal. In adulthood, this often translates into an automatic “yes,” even when everything inside you is telling you no.
You constantly compare yourself to others
“Look how much more successful X is than you,” “So-and-so, at least, makes their parents proud.” When comparison becomes background noise, we start to believe we’re never good enough. Successes lose their appeal: we only see what’s missing. Under these conditions, feeling legitimate or simply “enough” becomes a challenge.
Your body has long been a source of shame
Comments about weight, hair, or clothing, sometimes presented as humor, leave a deep impression. If your appearance has often been criticized, your relationship with the mirror may have become complicated: flaws and imperfections seem to take over. Learning to speak to your body with kindness then becomes a real challenge… but also a beautiful rebirth.
Your success sometimes triggered unease, not pride.
Instead of hearing “well done,” you were met with: “It’s nothing much,” “I was doing more at your age.” When our successes are minimized or dismissed, we can end up being afraid of succeeding or sabotaging our projects, as if shining might cause conflict.
Your boundaries have not always been respected.
Doors opened without knocking, decisions made for you, messages read… Growing up without privacy or respect for your choices makes it harder to set boundaries later in life. You can either let everything slide or become rigid for fear of being invaded again. Establishing clear boundaries then becomes essential to regaining a sense of security.
The conditional
Hugs, sweet words, and compliments vanished the moment you “disappointed” them. Love felt like a reward you either won or lost. As an adult, this can lead to relationships where you accept too much, out of fear of being abandoned, or conversely, run away as soon as someone gets close.
You have a very critical little inner voice.
Repeated remarks eventually become an inner whisper: “You’re useless,” “You’re exaggerating,” “You’re dramatizing.” Even far from your mother, this voice can continue to judge you. Yet, it is not you: it reflects an old conditioning, which can gradually be replaced by a gentler, more realistic voice, a form of inner kindness.
If you recognize yourself in these lines, no, you are neither fragile nor “too sensitive”: you are simply putting words to what you have been through, and that is already a huge proof of strength.
