Growing up with a mother who hurts more than she reassures isn’t something you read in a fairy tale… and yet, it’s the reality for many people. From the outside, everything might seem “normal”: no shouting in public, no scenes, sometimes even a family that appears enviable. But inside, there are those little stinging remarks, that fear of disappointing, that feeling of never being enough. If you had a mother who used words like invisible weapons, some things in this article will undoubtedly seem strangely familiar…
When violence lies in words… and silences
Psychological violence isn’t limited to shouting or insults. It can also take the form of indifference, subtle belittling, constant comparisons, guilt-tripping, or withdrawing affection as a form of “punishment.” Because there are no visible marks, we often tell ourselves that “it wasn’t that bad.” Yet, the brain registers everything: constant tension, fear of doing the wrong thing, the feeling of walking on eggshells at home.
This type of climate leaves lasting marks in adulthood: difficulty trusting, a constant need for approval, a tendency to apologize too much… or sometimes, the feeling of being emotionally “numb”.
You learned very early on to doubt those around you.
Hurtful mothers often criticize friends, partners, or other family members. As a child, you may have found yourself doubting those who supported you and feeling isolated. Even today, you may fear being a burden, hesitate to ask for help, or feel like you’re “in the way,” even when surrounded by kind people.
